39 Cougar in the Wild
I can't put a pineapple in my shopping cart without a sign that says: I am making a fruit plate. Step away.
Mic 37: Bombing
I had to tell my husband that “things were not right.’
That is the universal code for a GI issue in our house.
Then I had to make a case to go to the ER without conveying too much information.
“The train has been off schedule for a bit and I am worried.”
Mic 36 The Difference Between Failing and Bombing
I was at the Lakewood Village Tavern (LVT) last week and I failed. No, I didn't bomb. I failed. The LVT is an institution. It has been 15 years of comedy and it has been a rotation for the area that draws all kinds of comedians.
Mic 34 Prompted
I am loving the World Cup, and I am so excited that Americans can learn geography from something other than invasions, kidnappings, and wars.
Mic 33 One More
Comedians and toddlers might be the only groups of people who can disrupt a list so badly that it creates a "we are all in this together" mentality "strap in and let's see where this goes" ride.
Mic 31 THe Spotlight
I have never been to the Spotlight and have no idea what to expect. I have no time to shower, re-do my hair and so it is a "come as you are" kind of night. Yay!
Mic 30 Press Record
I Did Everything Right at My Open Mic — Except Hit Record
Do you know how committed a 58-year-old woman has to be to shower and get dressed twice in a day? I only blow my hair out for special occasions and unless my grandson throws up on me, a second outfit and shower in one day is very rare.
Mic 23 & 24 UNPREPARED
What Happens When You Walk Up With Nothing and Trust the Room
My husband sleeps 13" from the side of the bed. I know because I measured it with a yardstick while he was sleeping. A queen bed is 18" narrower than a king. Do the math — he feels romantic, he can knock me off the bed. We have a twin, a queen and a king in the house. So we've been sleeping around — like Goldilocks, if Goldilocks had a yardstick and trust issues.
Mic 21 Short Form
One Minute. One Idea. Nowhere to Hide.
I start by casually mentioning that I've been watching a new reality show. I pause, pacing like I'm trying to remember the name.
Iran War.
Mic 3 & 4 Foot in the Door or in my Mouth.
When Ten People Walk Out Right as Your Name Gets Called
The room was fairly empty when I went up. I bet ten people walked out just as I was welcomed to the stage. No, seriously, they opened the door in this tiny teacup of a room and fricking walked out when my name was called. Tell me how you don’t take that personally?