Comedians and toddlers might be the only groups of people who can disrupt a list so badly that it creates a "we are all in this together" mentality "strap in and let's see where this goes" ride.

Saturday’s She/They Show was full of surprises. Obstacles, Easter eggs, you know I don’t exactly know what to call the new things I am continuously learning or exposed to. Honestly it is like walking into a spider web every time I go out to do comedy.

I have never been to the Spotlight and have no idea what to expect. I have no time to shower, re-do my hair and so it is a "come as you are" kind of night. Yay!

I Did Everything Right at My Open Mic — Except Hit Record

Do you know how committed a 58-year-old woman has to be to shower and get dressed twice in a day? I only blow my hair out for special occasions and unless my grandson throws up on me, a second outfit and shower in one day is very rare.

On Instagram DMs, Inflatable Dinosaurs, and Accidentally Becoming the French Bulldog of Cleveland Comedy

Honestly, what the actual F-word is wrong with me? 

I mean I am out here doing this comedy thing. I am at bars with other comedians standing up and telling jokes. I am writing a blog, making social posts, and being part of the scene and yet I feel so far behind. 

For the record, I was never an awkward teenage girl.

A Cavs Win, a Shared Hamburger, and the Night I Finally Stopped Being Adjacent to the Group

This back room at the LVT is normally dark at 10 on a Wednesday, small stage, one mic, one light. Tonight it is bright with the glow of the game. We are cheering. I am cheering. Professional basketball. I have no real interest in professional basketball. But that collective effervescence is contagious. 

The Snappy Crotch Story, the Security Wand, and the Biggest Damn Panties Anyone Had Ever Seen

I am a public speaker.  Dale Carnegie graduate turned instructor.  This comedy thing has got me back into writing and everything that goes along with it so a stop in at Story Club was a box I wanted to check. I told the story of my snappy crotch.

Ambitious, Domestic, and Confused: A Field Guide to Women Who Do Both

I was recently called a trad wife and I was confused. I mean, I make most of the money — and all of the decisions. But I also make candles.

On Being the Substitute Teacher Energy in a Room Full of Unresolved Authority Issues

When I used to push A4 I got the Marlboro Man. Now I get the Vape Maverick. More human shield than body guard.

What Happens When You Walk Up With Nothing and Trust the Room

My husband sleeps 13" from the side of the bed. I know because I measured it with a yardstick while he was sleeping. A queen bed is 18" narrower than a king. Do the math — he feels romantic, he can knock me off the bed. We have a twin, a queen and a king in the house. So we've been sleeping around — like Goldilocks, if Goldilocks had a yardstick and trust issues.

Being Treated Like a Strip Club Acquaintance of Bryan's Mother Has Its Advantages

Bryan consistently greets me like a friend of his mom's he ran into at a strip club.

One Minute. One Idea. Nowhere to Hide.

I start by casually mentioning that I've been watching a new reality show. I pause, pacing like I'm trying to remember the name.

Iran War.

When Your Family Material Writes Itself (Whether You Want It To or Not)

We raised two beautiful daughters. It was a good day at the Hayes house if nobody ended up on the pipe or the pole.

Why Current Events Comedy Is Brave, Stupid, and Completely Irresistible

The other thing about current events — people have opinions. Strong ones. And the internet didn't just give them a platform, it gave their inside voice a megaphone.

What Happens When You Co-Host a Room Before You've Earned It

I was delighted to co-host with Jimmy in the big room at One Star.

The Particular Discipline of Showing Up When No One Is Watching

The 5 O'Clock has an energetic crowd, and when I mentioned Lucy's eyeballs, I was stopped with a loud "WHAAAT THA?" I then had to explain how she was martyred and had her eyeballs plucked out, which is why she is often depicted holding them on a plate. Yes, I understand how weird this sounds. Yes, these are my people.

On Matriarchs, Succession Planning, and Why I Keep Going Back

At first I got a lot of, “You going up?” and I said yes, and they would smile. Comedy people ask, “You going up?” the way Marines ask if you’re storming the beach. I am feeling a little more a part of the scene.

I Rescued a Pitbull, Gentrified Her, and Somehow Made It a Bit

I'm a white suburban woman, so of course I rescued a pitbull-boxer mix and gentrified her.

I named her Mabel, bought her a sweater, and planted artisanal grass in the backyard.

The Long, Winding, Completely Unnecessary Road to a Punchline

I spent two years not making eye contact with the only engineers who actually make eye contact. I’m a Catholic girl. I had to go to confession after my first lubrication conference.

The Long, Winding, Completely Unnecessary Road to a Punchline

Another comic, also smoking, told us this room used to be packed with comedians who came in from all over. This room was a rite of passage. "Don't judge it by tonight," he said. "Just remember you did a few minutes here—and come back."