39 Cougar in the Wild

Mic 39 was at the 5 O'clock. The late night room that gives you 5 minutes and feels like a warm hug.

My husband had his hip replaced and I have been the 24 hour nurse for 4 weeks now. I am tired. I miss real people and places other than my living room, so as difficult as it was to get out, it feels good.

It's 10:15.
On a Monday.

But this was the only time I could get away and I have a show on Friday and I need to feel a little better about material.

As I have mentioned before, everyone is working out material at open mics. And I have some new material to work out.

I was at the Goodwill dropping and shopping the other day and when I laid my purchases on the counter and then decided I wasn't taking one of the shirts. It was a tan blouse with leopard print. Tasteful.  An Escada, I mean this would have sold for $400 back in the day.

But it was rubbing me wrong.

"I am not taking this one." I said to the cashier.

"Too cougar!"

The person at the cash register encouraged me to reconsider.

“Oh honey, you can do this and feel the fabric. People are going to love touching it.”

It was originally a taste issue for me but now the touching was a concern.  

I knew there was a set in here but I had to stand in for a while. I had to mock the idea that every clothing choice at my age is to cougar or not to cougar.

I am in a committed marriage of close to 33 years and I like him.
Furthermore I am not trading a known set of problems for an unknown set of problems. 

I might be off the market, but no one told the market.

I can't put a pineapple in my shopping cart without a sign that says: I am making a fruit plate. Step away.

Since the creation of Viagra and the dating apps there is no limit on the creeping. The hunt is eternal. And to be honest, I was hoping for some respite.

A fellow comedian had her aunt and mother in the audience and they understood the plight. Life they said. It's just life.
Since I have the show this week and I have to figure out what is going to land.

There are a lot of comedians that do the same great set over and over — tighten it up so you can just pull it out and have it. I am working on that. Working on having pieces and parts to keep in my pocket for when I need them.

Comedy pocket change.

I like to see what lands with the crowd and then lean into that. Try and guess the crowd. What will play? What does this audience know?

I still subscribe to the idea that I am there for them and not the other way around so I have to put in the work and not just hope for the best.

Since I have subscribed to being Raw Dawg Missy Hayes, true to my authentic self, I have to be able to stand in the moment on the stage and pivot if needed to stick the landing.

But my marriage, like my comedy, is comfortable. It is a constant celebration of the things of life. For better or for worse, I am committed to both.