Mic 42: Erecting a Bit

Lakewood Village Tavern has a fun crowd tonight. It's a comedian hang sometimes, and tonight is one of those nights. I'm not feeling all in and this is a five-minute mic, but I'm going to test out some things.

The bit I'm working on and just can't get down: the concept that men have erections 24 hours a day, forever.

I think this is how we could take over the world. By we, I mean women.

In my head this idea is hilarious, because something awkward is the great equalizer. Awkward humbles you. It makes you overcorrect, go quiet, laugh too loud at your own sentence. It's the one thing that levels everybody in a room, and women live there full-time.

As women, we have things that are soft, things that point out, things you cannot hide unless you're in a burka, and so we are awkward. I can't slide through a crowd without someone getting to second base .

Now imagine a man with an erection.

The weiner is  a sensitive part.

It means a lot to them.  

At Open mics I hear a lot about.

So  they would be hard pressed to complete their daily tasks if they were fixated on the wanky.

The joke hasn't fully formed yet.

But I walk through the crowd though the things that would be tough to do. 

Jogging's out.
So is sliding into second base.
And nobody is taking their kid to see Santa anymore.
I know that the last line has more in it - so I make a mental note. 

It got some laughs, but it needs work. There's something there but I can't find the rub yet.

TeeHeeHee

I keep landing on inconvenience when I think what I actually want is to focus on the  power shift. 

Men being distracted isn't the same joke as women being focused.

I'm thinking maybe it's about how we got here, and this might be my place to try some crowd work. 

I hear a lot of dick jokes out there, so I bet I could get some crowd buy-in to build this into a set.

“Excuse me sir, I bet hugging aunt Lizzy with a boner would be awkward at Christmas.”

I did 2 minutes and forfeited my time.  Which I need to do better.  If I am not going to use the clock, I need a joke to move me of the stage. 

Something like, Senator Johnson from the great state of  Ohio yields her time.